Here's the "scoop" that no one else is going to give you.
Gas mileage sucking roof rack that will be never used, except to carry gas around town near gas stations, probably a shovel, and a Big 5 explosion to a state camp site situated 1 mile from the Interstate, check.
snorkel safari equipped, check. for all of those deep river crossings you expect that might delay you from picking up the kids after school.
black-ops painted 18" alloy rims, check. this is a real shame, too, because the 16" D2 alloys look really good and are somewhat rare. The steelies aren't bad, either.
redneck KC's, check. KC's were cool on my Jeep. It annoys me that the owner didn't retain the smiley face yellow covers. If you're going to give a middle finger to truck snobbery then do it right. The KC's would be perfectly legit with the blaring yellow covers. Instead, the owner has left the covers off to fool the unknowing into thinking he paid big bucks for nice lights. Put the covers back on and run it, or donate them to the nearest Jeep raffle.
unused winch, check. no surprises here. make sure it's not seized. the SG bumper and winch is a solid bonus.
tons of truck bling and mall terrain tires, check.
Often spotted in: driveways, city parks, McDonalds drive-thru.
I'm shocked there isn't an array of carefully ordered stickers in the rear cargo window. The photobug types like to order them by the color pallete of the sticker. Other people will order them alphabetically. yet another theme is to order them carefully by size and shape. You know who you are.
They probably sold it to buy an X5, which is doing everyone a favor. You can sell the rack, the snorkel, and the lights and get enough back for better wheels and tires.
But I know already that you wouldn't. You chose this vehicle for the same reasons the prior owner "built" it. And none of those involve taking it off road. The first time out will involve a dent to the fender of Prescious, inappropriate trimming of trees that catch on the empty roof rack, and much wailing and belly aching about a sliced sidewall and/or damaged rim.
Perfect.